Recently, I had the urge to write again. I have a budding interior business, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk color, texture, space, or functionality. I wanted to write about something that was light, fun, and entertaining.
So I started to think about what I’m good at beyond my professional career. What could I write about naturally that I have some expertise in? It came to me while dining at one of my favorite tex-mex restaurants, Tacqueria del Sol in West Midtown.
Flying solo. That’s it. I’m really good at enjoying my own company. It’s an art I think, or so it feels that way. I’ve perfected the dining alone experience and I’m a certified expert at living alone. I’ve had a lot of practice!
I immediately began emailing myself a list of topics regarding doing stuff on my own. Interestingly enough, it’s inspired by a handful of questions I often get asked. “How do you like living in a house by yourself?” “Do you get fearful of traveling alone?” Or sometimes I get comments such as “I want to go to that restaurant or travel to that city, but I can’t find anyone to go with”. In my head I’m thinking, or rather screaming “Go by yourself!” But I understand that some people get anxiety about doing activities solo or feel embarrassed or even isolated.
Well, I’m dedicating this series to all the folks who are curious about my active solo adventures and to those who roll solo, but would like to do it more and just have questions around safety, etiquette, and sometimes just plain ol’ confidence. And even if you’re accustomed to always doing things with a partner, family members, or friends, maybe this will intrigue you to try just one evening out enjoying the wonderful company of yourself.
Let’s chat about why I believe this is so important.
The closest relationship that you’ll ever have beyond a spiritual or religious connection, is the one you have with yourself. I believe that before you can be in good relationship with friends, family, colleagues, or romantic partners, it’s a good idea to know yourself, love yourself, and even like yourself. My father always says, “no matter where you go…there you are”. This means that you and who you are at your core is inescapable. Finding time to be with yourself, your thoughts, and your emotions is a wonderful way to stay centered, focused, and self-aware. It also means that if something needs attention or improvement, switching jobs, changing cities, or getting a new set of friends won’t change a thing. Internal work is the most important work you’ll ever do.
In our quest to understand ourselves better, spending time doing things alone can be a fun and exciting way to learn about yourself. You’ll also pick up on so many details that you usually miss when entertaining someone else. I consider myself fortunate to have spent so much time in my own company. It has always helped me explore and better understand my life. It also guides me to be a better family member, friend, colleague, or love interest. It’s a nice refill before I continue to pour into others.
If you try a bit of this flying solo life just every now and again, it can become a really refreshing experience. You will start to see and enjoy things differently. One thing it does for me more than anything else is it keeps my standards high and my expectations in line with what I deserve. These solo experiences act as a guide and reinforcement for me to take great care of myself and to treat myself as if I were someone special. Because I am. And I hope you feel the same way about yourself. Because you are. Stay tuned for the next blog on the first flying solo activity of dining alone.