I was recently completing an online survey for a psychology course class I am taking. This test was supposed to be able to determine if you had traits of narcissism. There was a scale by which they score your answers and in the end, calculate a number and tell you where you landed on this spectrum. What I found interesting is that in the beginning they asked if you were male of female. I wonder if the answers were scored differently based on your sex. For example, if you answered a question saying you enjoy leadership or that you are more confident than not, I wonder if female participants were seen as more narcissistic for those responses. Is it expected for women to be unsure of themselves? After the survey, I started to think about how we live in society that encourages us to doubt ourselves. Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I thin enough? Even more so for women – we are sent messages on a regular basis that suggest to strive for nearly unattainable goals as it concerns our skin, body shapes, work/life balance and love. It that weren’t challenging enough, we then among women attack other women whom appear to have confidence, sharp leadership skills and refuse to conform. My belief is that we have to find a way to define our own personal expectations. This is the only way to find real confidence, real growth and true satisfaction in life. If you are always striving to meet someone else’s mark – they have the ability to change it constantly so that you will never feel adequate. I say to women everywhere – set you on mark. Pursue the desires of your heart, whatever that may be. Do not concern yourself with the different choices another woman may make. If she is well and happy – support her! No one can make this journey in life without mistakes, failures and setbacks. We all have flaws and inadequacies to compensate for. But, in the end we are all redeemable which makes us perfectly, imperfect.

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-T