Happy Friday everyone…it’s been a while. I took a writing break for a few weeks as things have been busier than ever. I hope you’ve been well. I always want to give my best and when I run on empty, I can’t do that so I’ve learned when to break. Even as I watch the calendar days fly by with goals, objectives and checklists, I remain still until I feel a second wind.
One of the hardest things about being an adult is managing expectations, knowing when to take a step back and using the all powerful answer – no. There’s a lot of guilt that tends to flood us when we decline the offer to help someone, be a part of a group or even lend our time to an activity. Learning to navigate the space of when enough is enough is different for everybody and can be extremely difficult for those who never want to disappoint.
First of all, it’s okay to say no. This doesn’t make you a bad person or a non-caring person. In fact, it shows you are mature, understand boundaries and refuse to commit to something that you know will either over-extend you, frustrate you, exhaust you or perhaps even make you resentful at some point. Knowing where you draw the line is a personal decision. I’ve come to terms with that within the last five years. I have stopped lending my time to things that don’t bring me joy, frustrate me or perhaps don’t align with my morals, values or standards.
Pulling away can be scary. There can be backlash. You might even feel completely isolated after making the decision. But I believe in self-care and preservation of self. You must not do the thing that will be too much for you. You cannot be everything to everybody. And a lot of times when you reflect back, you will be glad you said no. Your energy and passion will be well reserved when you do come across the very thing that does deserve your time and attention.
With Love & Light,